dream

"ive dreamed a lot, im tired now from dreaming but not tired of dreaming, no one tires of dreaming, because to dream is to forget, and forgetting does not weigh on us, it is a dreamless sleep throughout which we remain awake, in dreams i have achieved everything," - Fernando Pessoa,The Book of Disquiet

cause dreaming is what i do best, everyday when i wake up in the morning and i shall ask myself, 

"will i ever put my hands on my wishes ?"

its a question that always haunt me every single day, because i know, not everything that i wished for, i shall have it, we live in this world play by the god's rules, He may give, He may not and He may take it back, for as long as we're still breathing, we shall work hard for it with any possible ways to achieve our dreams,

abah always remind me;

"can do everything you want, can have everything you want, but as long as you'd never disobey the mighty lord and your parents,"

im always keeping those in my mind,

till next time,

0500 hours

kinda getting some feeling theres something uneasy surround, dont know what is it, maybe it just a silly thing or maybe it just nothing,

*pffft no one cares anyway

sleep well,

appreciation

after all these years, ive been given much, all out towards people that dont deserve anything from me, its not like im being 'mengungkit', just that im so fcking tired being 'menjaga hati' other people,

at end of certain time, im the one that being fcked up, cause you know how it felt if you had through all these, ive been dealing with it since long time ago, over and over again, same old bullshits but with different people *sigh*

idk, maybe im easily to get soft with people who i thought i can could count on, but the truth is not everyone appreciate you for what youve done for them, as im writing these from my own experiences, i know sometimes im not that kind of good person, i guess ill never get away from bullshit and fcked up things/people, they will hate you for life cause of one small silly screwed up thing, even though youve done thousands of good deeds for them,

"kadang kadang aku kesian tengok kau danie, kau appreciate orang gila gila, tapi dorang takde nak appreciate kau," - faaiz hafizi, 2015