amat mudah untuk dibawa arus

ku bermimpi di malam yang tiada
mengejar impian yang selalu ada
berpijak di atas udara
yang membawa diriku ke utara

sedarkanlah diri ini, bangkitkanlah aku dari tidur

satu persatu hilang dari jasadku yang tewas
tiada penggantinya, semua telah diceritakan-Nya

ku dinodai arus, tiada kasihan
ku telah ditunjuk, tiada perasaan

apakah ?

apakah yang telah terjadi pada diriku ?

satu persatu hilang dari jasadku yang tewas
tiada penggantinya, semua telah diceritakan-Nya

i seek to you, God
it’s only you
i seek to you, God
dear Lord, if there is any second chance
'cause i’m drown, i’m drowned
so i seek to you, God
dear Lord, please let me out from this stream

satu persatu, hilang
tiada pengganti, hilang

sedarkanlah diri ini
bangkitkanlah aku dari tidurku

tell me when i’m good enough

no matter how hard i try, i still can’t get over you

WHY ?

6 years of knowing you, though we’ve lost each other for years, and met back again, it still couldn’t make me change the way i feel towards you, it always feels like the first day we talk to each other,

you’re the only few who could understand me, accept me for who i am - but i’m afraid you’ll get enough of me and might turn you off and leave because i’m always gonna be messing up everything somehow,

tell me i’m good enough, though i’m trying so hard to not to fucked up everything like i used to do when we were younger in past days, because i can’t afford to lose you, again - never

i’m still here

i’m the boy you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some meeting in the parking lot, the one whose in fact soon to be gone; when you look at the picture again, i want to assure you that i will no longer be there, i shall be erased from history, like a traitor in a world war, because with every day that goes by, i’m feeling myself becoming more and more invisible 

kill yourself III

they figure me a dead motherfucker, but i’m just a motherfucker that want to be dead

snow leopard with the lead in his head turning me into a sweater

bitches use me as their fucking bedspread

i’ll be the silhouette of a sunset

smoke a cigarette while i compress my depression

stare into the violet fluorescent lights makes me violent

i’m trying to get the highest i can get before i overdose and die

my ribs are nothing but an empty cage, black hole in my chest, big bang

yung plague on the tip of a wave

in my head it feels like i’m a guest so i will throw it all away because when i’m dead i’ll be nothing decomposing in a grave

i’m matter but i don't matter

i can feel my skull shatter from the dull chatter

brain spattered on the wall, grey stains won't dissolve

now i have to paint it all

always boasting my emotions on how i’m so fucking broken

think i’m joking when i’m talking, about blowing my head open

till the moment you walk in and find my body motionless

WRISTS SLIT

thoughts of slick keep falling in an open pit

SHIT!

always burn my bridges, cause i’d rather fall in ditches

if life's a game of inches, then my dick has been the biggest

and my goal's to fuck the world until that motherfucker's twitching

lane switchin', same mission, to die and blame my addiction

BITCH!

2020

it has been a damn while since my last entry, sampai aku pun dah lupa aku ada blog lol

well anyway, sebenarnya the reason i want to get back in this blog cause i wanted to remove all the shitty love post about my ex slutty girlfriend, well yea that was couple years ago, dumped her after i i i caught that bitch kongkek with budak indon pekerja ayam kedai dia *sigh*

tulah, dulu kemain jealous tengok orang lain ada awek, bila dah ada awek sendiri - awek romen dengan orang lain. kah!

so right now, boleh kot continue balik sesi luahan amarah depresi or anything that i wanted here, so til’ next time yo.