I do my best thinking at night when everyone else is asleep, no noise, no disturbance - I'm always thinking about what I'm missing, even when I'm happy enough with what I have now. While some others feel lucky, if they haven't got to be happy as they don't like their frame of mind to be unraveled or prefer to be left well enough alone.
Yet, if you really get to know me, you'll see me I'm a happy person - no matter where life takes me, you'll find me with a smile. Presumed to be happy, always laughing. I would do my damn best to be more happy than not. It's not much about who you used to be as it's about who you choose to be. Life is short and the only person that makes you hurt or hold grudges is you. Bcs we are sometimes dragged into a pit of unhappiness by an opinion that we do not look happy. So, forgive everyone, including yourself.
I was heartbroken and furious - little did I know that if I continue to live like this, my life would be out balance and unequal. And as surely as I knew this, I can continue to live as exactly I used to, in a heavy-lidded state of love and unspeakable compromise. But it made me wonder, isn't that what people do everyday? Was it good enough for me to expect people to give out happiness to myself? - Truth of it, I couldn't, I couldn't know this unless I choose to hear and listen. It comes first with desire then willingness, and it'll become understanding along the way with progression and more understanding;
"Being truly happy in life involves you feeling more in control of the direction your life is going."
These simple things are what forever what I love about life. For then, I will always be happy no matter where I found myself - For instance, I wanna let me myself wake up next to my baby girl, us having breakfast in the morning and wandering through the city with holding her hands in mine. And having more time of us together doing anything that we love. That definitely I'll be happy for the rest of my fucked up little life.
To do what I love and passionate about it is a dream come true. My decent life now is consumed by a good career, good people surround and having someone that I love the most and her giving back the same exact feelings towards myself - and it's the best life I could ever hope and ask for. Bcs happiness does not come from a job, it comes from knowing what you truly value and behaving in a way that's consistent with those beliefs. No one lives a life without having an impact, everyone has the power to make those people around them happy or worse, satisfied or frustrated, so which one is you?
p/s; Just be happy - if you can't be happy, do things that make you happy or do nothing with the people that makes you happy.